Loo-Kee & Kowl

Why beat around the bush? At this point, everyone who collects Masters of the Universe Classics is used to being stuffed around, and I've heard more than one collector say they'll be happy when the line is over for good. No more subs, no more insanely high shipping rates, no more condescending "you should just be grateful we made these exist and we're selling them to you!!!" party line, and no more chase figures. Which brings us to Loo-Kee and Kowl. Yes, Loo-Kee and Kowl were another great addition to MattyCollector's crapass "Chase Figures" portion of the MOTUC line, the idea of which was to "replicate the joys of finding a random figure in a store that no one else did and buying it before they could." You know, because holding something over on someone is definitely the path to really enjoying a hobby. The last thing one wants collecting something fun like toys is for everyone to have open access to the collectibles they want, and for a reasonable price - where would the fun be in that? To add insult to injury, MattyCollector's frustrating version of this "COLLECTOR'S TREAT!" adds on the nonsensical shipping price and all the wacky fun with their website crashing and blah blah. To make matters worse, what we have here isn't like, say, the neat "Spirit of Hordak" figure, which was a clever variant of an existing character that not everyone would want. What Loo-Kee and Kowl are is two very small, accessory-sized figures, one of which is a repaint of a toy most MOTUC collectors already own, and both for the price of a full-sized figure, sans accessories. And yet, for Princess of Power fans like myself, these are important characters, who you need to complete your collection. And so here we are! Let's start with Loo-Kee, whose real name is Petraut Edeltran. Why? Screw you, that's why. The name comes from a German-language She-Ra audio drama. Because yes, that needed to be immortalized forever! Loo-Kee is a humorous Etherian cherub imp from deep within Whispering Woods. He travels throughout Etheria and watches out for She-Ra and her friends. He is always on the side of the forces of good yet never participates in an open conflict. His powers were bestowed by Light Hope allowing him to hide out and alert his friends to danger. He enjoys telling stories with morals to ensure a tale's full value and clarity is understood by all. Watch out! You never know where he might be hiding! Loo-Kee stands more than 2¼" tall, and is appropriately sculpted and painted to look exactly like his cartoon visage. He looks great, and fits right in with the other POP figures in the line. What he lacks is articulation, which brings him down nearly entirely. I can't quite get across what a crap deal this is without drawing attention to just how badly these figures are articulated - Loo-Kee can't do the trademark wave. The thing the character is known for. For those who don't recall, Loo-Kee was not a character on the show. Not really. He did have two focus episodes ("Loo-Kee Lends a Hand" and "Loo-Kee's Sweety"), but those were the exceptions, not the rule. A member of the race of Kon-Seals (it's a pun, get it?), he would hide in the scenery in every episode, emerging at the end to reveal where he'd been hiding and deliver the moral of the episode. At which point, he would wave to you. But not this toy, Muchango! He's limited to neck, shoulder and tail joints, and the shoulder joint is a swivel that means he can't do the thing he was known for doing on the show. There's no articulation below the waist. Also, there is no waist. For the price, that is some bullshit! And then there's Kowl, painted in the original POP colors instead of the yellow we saw in the "End of Wars" Weapon Pak, which was based on the original toy. I'd have said this was unnecessary, but then I'm not the genius making decisions over at MattyCollector. Kowl, the know-it-all owl of Etheria is a great friend and ally to She-Ra. He can answer all questions asked of him. After his tribe was attacked by Horde invaders, he allied with the Great Rebellion and is a particular close friend of the arrow-man Bow. Kowl's articulated at the shoulders and neck, and that's it. Size is not the limiting factor here - I'm not the first person to point out that Orko's arms are more articulated than both of these toys combined - the limiting factor is cheap, disrespectful idiocy, the kind that MattyCollector has made their stock in trade. The original '80s Kowl toy had a gimmick where you could open a panel on his chest to see a spot of either red, yellow, or green, allowing him to answer questions with a no, maybe, or yes. This one has a flight stand. And that's it. That's the entire set. Is it worth it? OH HELLS NO. But it's the only way to nab at least one character. If you think about it, it was smart of MattyCollector to make this crap set a "chase" one, since they could get away with this kind of bullshittery under the guise of making it limited. Hey, remember the days when you got the entire Prince Adam figure as an accessory for Orko? At least we're not quite at the point where a glorified accessory costs $30 plus shipping, so at least, as of now, Masters of the Universe fans aren't being as stiffed by MattyCollector as badly as DC fans are. -- 02/16/15

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