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The Dragon

Shrek 2
by Shocka

Ah, Hasbro, Hasbro, Hasbro. After McFarlane Toys kicked royal ass with its line of Shrek toys, combining the master license hand-in-hand with imagination and creativity to create an array of cute and fun toys of all sizes, Hasbro has stunk up the toy store with their series of toys to accompany the sequel film, Shrek 2. Embarrassing sculpts, poor play features (aside from the first-ever farting action figure), nonsensical accessories... we should be thankful for the silver lining to the cloud, and that silver lining is here.

Dragon and Dronkey

The shortpack in the line of 6"-ish figures is the Dragon, the love of Donkey's life from the first film (I don't know her place in the sequel we poor bastards in Australia don't get it for another week or so. Damn you, Yankees!). Although a shortpack, she's not that hard to find not nearly as hard as it was to find her McFarlane incarnation.

get a room, you two! This version of the Dragon, whose name is Diane in the movie, is smaller than the McFarlane version but much more playable and fun, and is no more or less out of scale than the McToy version was. (Check the source material neither Diane toys are close to the size of the real thing.)

[the McDragon was technically a part of the mini-figure line, and was in scale with those. Sort of. --ed.]

Diane is 13 1/2" long from tail to snout. In the package, her tail and wings are separate, snapping on easily whether they stay on so snug is another matter. The tail is nice and soft, made from rubbery plastic that fits on well at first, but eventually loosens a little. This hasn't given me any trouble, but others have complained. Diane is complete with five points of articulation, including several action features built into the toy.

hot oral action First up, pressing a concealed button on Diane's back makes her flap her 9" wings this is a good little feature and it works well. Secondly, pulling on her back left leg makes her extend her neck and open her mouth, ready to breathe fire which she does on the push of a button concealed on the bottom of her neck, launching a "fireball" missile out of her mouth. It works, although not always well, and it shows some creativity and play value within the toy.

Paint apps are really good Diane is nicely detailed and dry-brushed to show off her scaly purple hide and pink underbelly. Her face is kind of pretty, complete with the "make-up" she wears to show that she is indeed a girl dragon. Hasbro didn't skimp on the detail, which is quite pleasing considering the utter dreck that is Donkey, Shrek and Princess Fiona.

One of the gimmicks of the new Shrek toys is that each figure comes with a small scented accessory somehow related to the figure. Most of them are retarded in one way or another; even the awesome Gingerbread Man that comes with Puss in Boots is oversized and can't stand on its own, demonstrating mass incompetence from Hasbro.

It tastes like burning! Yet Diane avoids the moronity with her own adorable, sense-making, "scents" making little offspring, the Dronkey. Yes, it's a tiny little half-dragon, half-donkey; it's adorably cute, and smells like a barbecue. It's painted completely blue, aside from its donkey-nose, with nice enough detailing for a small figure, barely an inch and a half long. It doesn't have any articulation, but it doesn't need any especially with those big adorable eyes. It's so cute! Some people have complained that they'd prefer it to smell like baby powder or something cute, unlike that burning BBQ smell, but I like it either way it suits the figure.

And it's so cute!

Overall, the Dragon is the one to get from the new Shrek line. Stick with the classics if you want other Shrek toys go get some of the awesome McFarlane originals if you want some fun Shrek figures to play with. I like this toy a lot, and it goes well with my original display. Especially the Dronkey. So cute! I loves it so. And we all lived happily ever after.


An animated jackass - can you think of any role more perfect for Eddie Murphy? Tell us on our message board, The Loafing Lounge.

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