Booker T

Booker T is an all-star WWE champion - originally a player from the WCW, he had five WCW Championship titles and overall 22 WCW titles. By this reviewer's biased, disjointed viewpoint, this means very little - Booker T is still more stupid than that hamster that sings Cotton Eyed Joe, and most likely less intelligent. SUCKA!!!! Booker T came into WWE and quickly established himself as one of its top superstars. The Bookerman dazzles fans with what he calls the most electrifying move in sports entertainment - the Spin-a-roony! With this impressive move in his corner, and with his incredible arsenal of kicks, there's no doubt that Booker T will be a force in WWE for years to come! I just want it clarified that the "Spin-a-roony" rivals the Rock's stupid "People's Elbow" for most ridiculous move in professional wrestling: other wrestlers have good finishing moves, like the Undertaker's "Tombstone", which supposedly breaks the opponent's neck and then he lays them down as if in a grave, and the great Mick Foley (Mankind, Dude Love, Cactus Jack) had the mandible claw, or Mr. Socko, in which he choked the opponent with a moldy sock (or so it appeared, anyway). What does Booker T do? He spins around, like those stupid breakdancers who spin on their heads (though Booker doesn't even come close), then stands up and kicks his opponents in an unrelated movement. It looks hilariously stupid. I mean, look at the guy!! ARRRRRRGHHHHH!!! Booker T's real name is apparently Booker Huffman. I don't know for sure, nor do I care. I came to have this figure purely by accident - when I bought the Hardcore Wrestling Ring I got a free figure with it, and I chose Booker T. Why? Just because it looks so ridiculous, of course! And also, your toys have to have someone to beat up! Booker stands about 6½" tall and is considerably well sculpted - the expression on his face is stupid, which is pretty accurate to the character. The RealScan hasn't quite got the moronic look of Booker captured though - something doesn't look quite right, I can't put my finger on what it is. Not to worry - the rest of the body is also sculpted and detailed well, and his costume is considerably accurate - some small details are there, like his earrings (???) but his tattoo on his arm is strangely missing. The figure is well articulated - with 14 points of articulation, you can even make Booker do the Spin-a-roony! As well as an assortment of other stupid poses. He's very playable, and surprisingly durable. We've dropped him off second-story buildings, thrown him around, down all a manner of things to him and he's still in one nice piece. It's like he wont die! Booker T comes with only one real accessory - a stylish little WWF suitcase, a couple of inches tall that opens to reveal various pieces of clothing, socks, a mobile phone. It also features a handle that pulls out so Booker T can carry it around. Of course, all this ponders the question why the hell does Booker T come with a little suitcase?! It's my guess it's because he can't dress himself or something, but that's by the by. Booker also has removable rubber elbow pads and kneepads, and a removable rubber brain, representing the lobotomy. (Just kidding, but it sounds good.) Overall, Booker T is a great WWE figure - it's got articulation, a decent sculpt and a nice accessory which other figures can use to beat up Booker. Unfortunately, Booker T is very stupid, and I give this figure a rating of V for Violating. -- 05/09/03

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