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Figuretoon Quickies

"Deadpool is Ruined FOREVER!"
3/11/09

Right now, the fanboys hate Deadpool's movie design, and they've spent the last few weeks complaining about how the movie is now ruined. Here's a fun list of other things that have ruined movies:

  • Christopher Reeve is too skinny to play Superman.
  • That Pee-Wee's Big Adventure guy is directing Batman.
    • Also, Michael Keaton is a comedian, and can't play Bruce Wayne.
  • The X-Men's black leather uniforms.
    • Some unknown guy is playing Wolverine.
    • Jean Grey's hair isn't red enough.
  • Organic webshooters.
  • Kingpin is black.
  • The guy who directed Blade: Trinity is writing Batman Begins.
  • Bryan Singer isn't directing X3.
  • That Daredevil guy is directing Ghost Rider.
  • Daniel Craig is playing Bond.
  • Michael Bay is directing Transformers.
  • Shia Leboeuf is starring in Transformers.
  • Zack Snyder is directing 300.
  • Zack Snyder is directing Watchmen.
  • Heath Ledger is playing the Joker.
  • What does that Swingers guy know about directing Iron Man?
    • Robert Downey Jr. is playing Tony Stark.
  • Snake-Eyes' mask has a mouth.
  • J.J. Abrams is directing Star Trek.

Yes, terrible. It's a shame how all those various things were ruined forever. Just like Deadpool's done to the Wolverine movie.

Quitcher bitchin'.

Vision-Impaired Transcript

Deadpool: So that's supposed to be me?
Deadpool: No, you're you. I'm me. In the movie.
Deadpool: Was I talking out loud again?
Deadpool: No, I can read your caption boxes.
Deadpool: Oh. Damn.
Deadpool: But you can't be me? You don't even talk in yellow! Talking in yellow is an INTEGRAL part of who I am!
Deadpool: Do you even know what "integral" means?
Deadpool: It's a subspecies of flamingo, right? Nevermind. On three, name the sexiest woman alive.
Deadpool and Deadpool: 1... 2... 3... Bea Arthur!
Deadpool: Huh. I LIKE this guy.
Deadpool: Thanks.
Deadpool: Stupid boxes!

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