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Louise

Bob's Burgers
by yo go re

Tired: duck season.
Wired: Wabbit season!

The youngest Belcher child, Louise is sarcastic, smart, and (in the words of her mother) "she just likes messing with people she thinks are stupid." Damn, that's our kind of girl! Unlike a lot of cartoon children, though, Louise is actually allowed to act like a little kid sometimes: she's sarcastic, but absolutely adores cute things; she's smart, but often gets scared in unfamiliar situations; and she may pick on people, but she also believes in fairness and sticking up for those who can't. Again we say: damn! If you ever stop being stuck as a 9-year-old, look us up!

Despite Louise's seeming disdain for her family (she literally had a go-bag packed and hidden in the woods because she assumed she'd have to escape from them one day), in her more private moments she reluctantly admits how much she loves all of them - especially her dad, who she worries about growing apart from. In fact, in her own mind, she assumes she'll be the one to take over the restaurant some day when Bob decides to retire.

Louise is the only member of the Belcher family to be voiced by an actual woman - Kristen Schaal, which makes for some mood whiplash when you change the channel from Gravity Falls to Bob's Burgers and hear the same voice coming out of two very different characters. Although they're not very close, Louise looks like a tiny doppelganger of Linda... other than the ears, of course.

According to creator Loren Bouchard, Louise's distinctive rabbit-ears hat is inspired by the one worn by the character White in Tekkonkinkreet; Bouchard liked the waya character could seem to almost become an animal by always wearing little ears, so Louise gets to channel Bugs Bunny by never uncovering her head. The sculpt is as good here as it's been on all the figures in this line, creating perfect re-creations of what is seen every week on the cartoon - that is something we definitely can't complain about.

But what we definitely can complain about is the articultion. Lousie moves at the neck, shoulders, and the tops of her legs, all of them plain swivels. Since she's so small and wears a dress, she doesn't even get the waist everybody else in the family had. The art on the back of the card shows all three kids the same size as each other, and nearly as tall as their folks. Thankfully, that's just bad graphic design, because the actual figures vary in size just like they should. With her ears, Louise is a bit more than 3¾" tall; her actual head is closer to 3".

The paint is fine, because there's not much of it. Her dress is solid gree, her hat is solid pink, her hair is solid black, and her skin is darker than it should be. They remembered to paint her hair ties, but her shoes should have a strap over the top rather than being black all the way up. The gap is sculpted, just not painted her skin color.

Despite being so small, she only comes with two accessories: her Kuchi Kopi doll, and a bottle of ketchup. The latter raises a good question: why didn't everybody come with some restaurant stuff? Bob had a burger, Louise has ketchup, so give us... mustard, fries, and drink? That'd work. Kuchi Kopi is a Japanese character Louise apparently loves, because in addition to her nightlight doll, she's also got walkie-talkies, a small purse, and even a toothbrush with his likeness on them. This one is larger than it should be (sized more for 6" scale figures) and has a handle on the side so the figure can hold it. Not too impressive.

The Bob's Burgers figures aren't very good, but GameStop putting them on clearance for $5 apiece really hit the sweet spot. It's a shame it worked out that way, because there are definitely enough alternate designs that PhatMojo could have done a set of variant Belchers. You know, Louise in her blue hoodie with no ears, "Little Bob" Gene, Thunder Girls Tina, synchronized swimming Linda, and... Bob wearing the burger suit? There are other possibilities, of course, but we're never going to see any of them. Shame. Bob's Burgers is one of the bext cartoons on the air right now, and it deserved more love than these figures got.


Gene | Linda | Bob | Tina | Louise

-- 09/16/20


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