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Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel
by yo go re

Higher. Further. Faster. Stronger. Work it. Make it. Do it. Make us. Ever. After. Work is. Over.

Accompanied by her furry sidekick, Goose, Captain Marvel suits up to defend the universe from intergalactic threats.

The sad little manbabies who have nothing better to do with their lives than hate women (and wonder why they can't get dates) have picked the next front in their war on basic human decency. First, they made it so you couldn't dislike Ghostbusters without being lumped in with them; then it was Wonder Woman ("Gal Gadot is too skinny!"), The Last Jedi ("Rey is a Mary Sue!"), and Netflix's She-Ra ("She looks like a boy!"); and now of course it's Captain Marvel. Gee, I wonder what all these properties could have in common? All the trailers make the movie look like an Air Force recruitment video come to life, but the CHUDs are acting like it's going to be two hours of menstrual cup discussions and mandatory estrogen injections for the audience.

There are two Captains Marvel in this series, and no, neither of them is the blonde dude with the perm - they're both Carol, both wearing her red and blue costume. The only difference is that the "regular" version is ready for war, while this one is slightly more casual, wearing a brown leather jacket over her space uniform. You know - totes caszh. There's a pattern on the back that's hard to make out at this scale, but it's a pair of wings, on a circle, with a star in the center of it, above a WWII bomber, all in front of a larger circle. So, "flight" seems to be the general theme they were going for.

This Captain Marvel only gets one head (the other has two): it features collar-length hair blowing a bit to the side, and she's smiling. Although the figure uses that Photo Real printing process, it doesn't look very much like Brie Larson - in fact, if you were to dig out that old Syndey Bristow figure, you could use this head to create a custom Leslie Knope.

The articulation is right on par with every other Marvel Legend, with joints at the ankles, knees, thighs, hips, chest, wrists, elbows, shoulders, and head. She won't be doing any punching, though, because she only includes a single pair of hands, and they're not fists: they're designed to cradle her only accessory.

Carol's only accessory is her cat, Goose. It's much less spoilery than the last one, being a fully normal kitty, posed to be held in her arms and raising a paw adorably toward her face. In the comics, the cat's name is Chewie; but rather than reference Star Wars in a Marvel movie, the directors opted instead to reference Top Gun, the sexiest thing to happen to volleyball until DoA Xtreme. Goose can sit on his own, but the idea is that he'll be held aloft.

The figure does also include a lump of this series' Build-A-Figure, the Kree Sentry. It's the left arm, and it's a biggun, ¾ as tall as Carol herself.

Thanks to Goose and the jacket and the BAF part, this Captain Marvel toy is more than just the space-filling variation she first seemed. (Black Panther should take notes.)

-- 03/01/19


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