Tulip O'Hare

"So she tells me her name, and I says to her I says, 'you know what's better than roses on yer piano? Tulips on yer org--' an then she up and shot me!" Proving the old adage that looks can be deceiving, Tulip made a name for herself as a hit man - sorry, hit woman - before falling in with Jesse Custer. When Jake O'Hare's wife became pregnant, he just knew she was going to have a boy: John William Grady O'Hare. They were gonna play ball and go hunting and have the best damn father/son relationship ever! But then his wife died in childbirth, and the baby was a girl, and he was suddenly a single dad with a baby he didn't have any idea how to relate to. So he raised her like he would have raised a son, doing and teaching her all the same things, and in the process he learned more about equality. Which is a nice message and all (though hardly any kind of controversial by the late '90s), but has it ever struck you as odd that encouraging girls to be "boyish" is acceptable, but the opposite isn't? Because being male is something is strive toward, while being feminine is something to be avoided. Tulip is the final figure in DCD's Preacher assortment, completing the triumvirate with Jesse and Cassidy, and ready to face off with/run away from the Saint of Killers. The facial sculpt definitely looks like Steve Dillon's artwork, but the likeness just isn't there - maybe the hair is throwing things off? Even in 2000, this wasn't that good. The body is a mess, as well. She looks fine from the front, wearing her capri pants and her... is that a shirt, or a sports bra? Whatever, it's all sculpted well, even if she has to have worn more flattering outfits in the book. But if you look at her from the side, she looks like she's in the first stages of some sort of Cronenbergian horror. She's just standing straight up, but she's apparently thrusting her abdomen forward in a way that no human could do - at least, not in a static pose. It's like she's being yanked off-balance by an invisible rope. The figure stands fine, but she constantly looks like she's about to fall. In the image to the side, there, the photo on the left is the way the toy actually looks, and the photo on the right shows what she might look like if her spine weren't folded in half. Her articulation is minimal, even by DC Direct standards. Heck, even in comparison to the rest of this line! She has a swivel joint in her neck, swivel shoulders, hinged elbows, and V-crotch. No wrists, no waist (duh) and not even any knees. She has joints, yes, but you can barely pose her. Move the legs even slightly and she'll fall. Point the arms forward and she'll fall. If the toy's center of gravity were above her feet, as it should be, she'd be more stable, but there's no way for you to accomplish that. Like the Saint of Killers, Tulip is molded with one gun permanently in her hand. And it still makes no sense! Who would conceive of that, who would design that, and who would approve that? Multiple opportunities to do the right thing, all wasted. Her accessories include the matching silver pistol to complete the set, and an Uzi submachine gun. Those, obviously, can only be held in her right hand, because some dang fool molded her gun as part of her left hand! Nothing against Howard Stark and The Girl in the Flower Dress, but anyone who's seen Justified knows that the only correct choice to play Jesse Custer and Tulip O'Hare were Walton Goggins and Joelle Carter - not because of race, but because they already had the look, the relationship, and the attitude to play the pair. Give Boyd Crowder an eyepatch and your casting session is done! We know Mattel will never make and Preacher toys, because they don't do Vertigo, and DC Direct doesn't really go back to the past to revisit existing ideas, so this is probably the only comic-based Tulip there will ever be. Shame she wasn't done better. -- 11/01/17

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