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Toro Gundam

G Gundam
by yo go re

Sometimes you have to wonder if the designers for G Gundam were on crack. I mean, sure, Gundam Rose is a bit weird, but he's nothing compared to the Viking or today's crown jewel, Neo-Spain's Toro Gundam.

Toro Gundam. At some point in the future, the majority of humanity has abandoned the earth for orbiting colonies. Every four years, each country sends a representative to Earth for the Gundam fights. Whichever country wins the tournament gains control of the colonies until the next fight.

Each Gundam is designed to represent its country. Or, more accurately, what Japanese animators think of its country. Neo-America's Gundam Maxter, run by a pilot with pink-streaked hair and a support team of bikini girls, combines football, boxing, surfing and cowboys. God, Japan hates us. Of course, it could be worse; Neo-Germany's Shadow Gundam looks like an SS trooper.

Of course, few suits are worse than Toro Gundam. Known as "Matador Gundam" in his native Japan, Toro is a giant bull. Actually, not even that - he's a giant bull's head. No body, just legs and hands sticking out of a humongous bull's head - big horns, big ring in its nose, big bull's head.

La cabeza del Toro. The look carries over to the parts of the suit that are verifiably robot. He doesn't have feet, for instance; he has big red hooves. While some Gundams' heads look like they're wearing a hat, the top of Toro's head looks like another small bull, with a nose and horns of its own. Crazy as it is, you have to admit that the design continuity is pretty cool.

Since the only thing that the Japanese animators seemed to know about Spain was that they were into bullfights, Toro Gundam's weapons are drawn from the same source. His sword is fairly normal, as far as this show goes, but it's the other item that really goes above and beyond the call of sanity. While many of the Gundams have a beam sword (imagine a four-story tall lightsaber), Toro Gundam has a beam cape. Yes, a translucent pink cape that plugs into his arm.

Moo. "But," you might say, "bulls don't carry the cape, they charge it." Well, yes, you'd be right, but you'd be missing the point. The point is that every bit of this figure, from concept to weaponry, is totally, irrefutably off its nut.

But it gets even better. Just like Mermaid Gundam, Toro transforms into something else. Care to guess what? Yeah, that's right, a big floating bull's head. His arms and legs retract and his head flips around to leave you with just a simple metal face. The robot's shoulder pads become the bull's ears, which is clever.

If you dig the complete unabashed insanity of G Gundam, then why not go ahead and pick up a Toro Gundam of your own? There are plenty of normal toys for fans of ultra-serious, meaningful shows - this is just for pure fun.


Which of the G Gundam suits is stupidest? Tell us on our message board, The Loafing Lounge.

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