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Poker Player

Gremlins
by yo go re

When I was a kid, I was scared witless by Gremlins - released in a pre-PG-13 era (yes, kids, that rating is fairly new), Gremlins didn't seem particularly bad. So I, a stupid little kid won over by the cute and cuddly Gizmo, finagled my way into seeing a horror film for which I was entirely unprepared.

Poker?  I hardly know 'er! Sure, I spent the majority of the film sitting backwards and watching the light reflected on the projection booth window rather than what was on the screen, but I learned that a trailer can be very misleading and that I consequently needed to make smarter decisions. I still wish I'd been happy just seeing Pete's Dragon, like we intended.

Because of all that, I don't really have any clear recollection of what happened in the movie. I remember the first bit fairly well, but once things started getting rough, my memories are as fuzzy as the reflections I watched so intently. Still, psychologically scarred though I may be, I'm not about to pass up good toys.

So, was there a Gremlin that played poker? I vaguely recall such a thing, and NECA seems to think so, so who am I to argue?

Wanna see us make out? This figure uses the same body as the other obvious Gremlins offering, Stripe: 6" tall, nine points of articulation, killer sculpt, everything. He (obviously) doesn't share Stripe's stripe, since that was the only thing distinctive about the Gremmy boss. Even the paint job is similar.

The accessories are where the poker player really stands out: he's got a translucent green visor that balances on his ears, a hand of cards, and a pile of chips, popcorn and Oreos, taken from an obviously messy table.

How do you know this demonic little beastie is evil (other than the fact that he's a demonic little beastie)? Easy: he cheats! Cheater! Evil! He's got a card hidden (poorly) behind his left ear, with a hole in his sculpt designed to help hold it in place. You'd think that with such large ears, he'd have an easier time hiding his underhanded tricks, but apparently he's incompetently evil.

Why am I so cool? If you really want to appreciate the sculpt of these bad boys, try something a little weird: kiss them. Now bear with me for a moment as I explain this:

Your lips are more sensitive than your fingertips, because they're not in constant contact with the world around you. Sure, you can see all the sculpted scales, and you can run your fingers over them, but try giving your Gremlin a little peck. Yes, it's weird, but yes, it works.

Plus, you can really inhale that New Toy Smell that way. Woo!

I didn't expect to like the Poker Player as much as I do. With his accoutrements removed, he really does look great as a "standard" Gremlin, but he still looks cool with them in place. This is a damn fine monster!


Should yo try watching Gremlins again, to get over his trauma? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.

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