Professor Hulk

One more ToyBiz update crossed off the list! Dr. Bruce Banner transforms into a dark distorted reflection of himself, but successfully melds his fractured personalities into a new super-strong, intelligent form... Professor Hulk. Well, that was the original idea, but comics being comics, eventually a new writer came in and felt like changing things: Peter David wrote the three personalities - Bruce Banner, Savage Hulk, and Joe Fixit - being united into one healthy psyche; Paul Jenkins, however, had it revealed that the "Professor" personality was just another construct, now one of four instead of three in one. Kind of a dumb choice, but so it goes. It should be noted that no one at the time ever called this Hulk "Professor" - that was a Jenkins thing. The public called him Hulk, his coworkers called him Banner, his friends called him Bruce, and ToyBiz called him Smart Hulk, so then fans called him that, too. And since he was smart, he knew how to get clothes that fit instead of exploding out of Banner's purple pants every time. And judging by the fact one of the things he's chosen to wear is a tank top, it suggests that he was unhappy being topless all those years before! The clothes are still straining to fit over his body, judging by the stress wrinkles sculpted on them. The shirt and pants have different textures, as well. His giant belt is a separate piece, but if you judge it by the art on which this figure is clearly based, it's been assembled upside down. Part of why the name "Professor" doesn't fit the character is that he was never portrayed that way during David's run. Yes, he had Bruce Banner's intellect, Green Hulk's strength, and Joe Fixit's attitude, but all that added up to him not being particularly wise, especially since nothing had been done about the burning rage that had always defined him; he was basically an angry bully, with the strength to push around anybody he felt like. So this figure's second head, with a big angry sneer, is just as appropriate as the smiling one he has on in the package. Its flat hair isn't as good, though, either in terms of design or paint coverage. Looking back at the ToyBiz Smart Hulk, it's wild to compare how different the articulation is on this new one. Not the placement of the joints themselves, those are fairly similar - today's Smulk moves at the head, neck, shoulders, biceps, elbows, wrists, chest, waist, hips, thighs, knees, and ankles, only lacking the shins, finger, and toe joints of the old one, but adding new pectoral hinges. No, the major difference is the way the joints are designed. Like, to do swivel/hinge wrists back then, there was a hinge in the hand, and then a separate swivel in the forearm about a quarter inch higher, and today they're just integrated. Plus, the shape of the limbs is smoother, not having to dip as far inward to accommodate the joints. The pec joints are the same as most current Hasbro Hulks, which means they go the wrong way: the point of adding those joints is to be able to bring the arms forward, but the way Hasbro does it favors them going back. Though Smart Hulk was around for several years (first appeared in 1990, got re-dumb-ified for the Onslaught crossover in 1996), this figure is based specifically on 1991's Incredible Hulk #390, part one of the "War & Pieces" storyarc, which we can tell by the accessories. We begin with the ammo belts crossed over his chest. They're not shaped to fit around the chest in one particular direction or another, and they're just slightly too short, meaning the PVC will be stretched way out by the time you take him out of the package - not the best work. That ammo fed the gun he carried in the issue. It's a weird sci-fi thing, not anything real, but it was drawn consistently throughout the issue (well, for the five pages [plus cover] where it appeared), and this sculpt does an adequate job of duplicating the art. It even manages to duplicate a coloring mistake! See, the finger guard in the front is supposed to connect to the bottom of the grip, but on the page where it most prominently appeared, colorist Glynis Oliver accidentally made the point where they connect the same color as the background, so the toy leaves them separate to reference that. There's a small hole in the barrel, where a blast effect could plug in, but it should really be bigger. Also, the side where the bullets would feed in looks like it might have been planned to be hollow at one point, but has been sealed off. There's a joke in Hulk #390 that I never got until rereading the issue for this review. Rick Jones, wandering into Hulk's room and seeing him wearing glasses, professes to not recognize him at first, a clear reference to Clark Kent and Superman. There's even a panel where Hulk has a spit curl hanging against his forehead! As a kid, I read it sincerely, as in "Rick Jones runs into so many weird people that he genuinely thought this might be some other giant green guy." But today, I actually understand it as "Rick Jones was being silly, saying something facetitously and expecting Hulk to understand the joke." Anyway, this set includes a pair of glasses that can fit on either head, but are probably intended for the happy one. And finally, he gets a pair of fuzzy pink bunny slippers, because he was also wearing those in the iconic image that inspired the figure. He and Betty were estranged at the time (she was uncomfortable with her sweet, gentle husband suddenly being rude and 7' tall), but these slippers were a new gift from her, showing signs of potential reconciliation. Each of the slippers is its own sculpt, shaped to fit on the left or right foot just like real ones would be. And they stay on surprisingly well, considering it's nothing but friction holding them on. Peter David's 12-year run on Incredible Hulk is absolutely one of the high points of the character's entire history, and Smart Hulk was the boldest moment of it all. It's a shame Marvel wanted him to go back to mindless "HULK SMASH!!" blandness, rather than allowing the change to stick, but we'll always have those six years. Smart Hulk is one of the figures we've most wanted Hasbro to update, so even with a few problems in the accessories and a few corners cut in the articulation, it's exciting to finally get this. -- 10/05/26 What's the cutest piece of clothing you own? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.