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Boarrior

Mythic Legions
by yo go re

Well, somebody's excited for the Year of the Pig!

Resilient, dirty, and tirelessly aggressive, the Boarrior are miniature battering rams for the Legion of Arethyr. Because of their predilection for muck and filth they are often sent out to tackle the most unpleasant missions the Legion has to offer. Perfectly willing to cast their cumbersome weapons aside in favor of their thick skulls and brutally massive trusks, the Boarrior are always armed, deadly, and ready to destroy anything in their way.

Right away that bio teaches us two unexpected things: 1), the Boarrior here is not a solitary soldier, but part of a whole drove, and 2) the term "Boarrior" is plural, not just singular. That one's much more surprising, isn't it? You'd think they'd be Boarriors, but apparently that's as wrong as "sheeps" or "mooses." One Boarrior, two Boarrior, three Boarrior, four; four Boarrior make a bunch and so do many more.

Like the Bog Goblin, the Boarrior is a tiny little fighter, using the normal armored torso, but the shorter dwarf arms and legs. And like Lil Wayne, he's got hooves. They come from Asterionn, and serve to make this little guy look more porcine. The pelvis comes from the Series 2 figures, which we can tell because Series 1 didn't have a spot where a tail could plug in. Domestic pigs may have curly tails, but their wild relatives have tails that are straight and have a tuft of hair at the end; this little piggy gets just that, a straight, tufty tail to plug in under his armor.

The Boarrior doesn't get some weird new neck, like the Bog Goblin did, just a werid new head - it attaches to the same neck as always. It does jut very far forward, as you would expect a pork-man's face to do, with the long upturned snout and a pair of tusks that angle out from the mouth. This is less an anthropomorphic hog than a realistic animal head on a humanoid body. A realistic animal head wearing armor.

The colors on the Boarrior are nice. Despite the bio mentioning how much they love dirt, the armor is somehow not covered in mud. Too bad! There's a little bit of dried blood or something painted on there, but it's mainly a dark grey with silver and red accents, which does at least look good. You will want to give him the add-on shoulder pads, even though they're bronze and don't match the rest of the body: not only do they help keep the shoulders from looking too small for the head, his helmet is designed to match the pauldrons rather than the rest of the armor; it's bronze, rather than grey, so even with the silver piping, it would look out of place without the benefit of those big spiky pads.

The articulation is good, because can you imagine how stupid a company would have to be to design a body intended to be reused a thousand times and not put in the best articulation they possibly could? Of course you can, Mattel did it for years with the DC license, but that wasn't the Four Horsemen's fault. Mythic Legions figures like the Boarrior have swivel/hinges at the ankles, knees, hips, wrists, elbows, and shoulders; swivel thighs, forearms, and neck; and balljointed head, waist, and tail. Okay, not all of them move at the tail, but Boarrior does, and Cowarros does, so clearly it's an option. And since the figures are so modular, you have that option for many a figure!

This figure comes with some really exciting weapons! From the beginning he had the big squarish Dwarven War Hammer and the Orc Battle Axe from the first Kickstarter's weapons packs (in addition to the now-standard chest strap and wing-adapter backpacks), but when this campaign reached $645k, he also got the addition of a mace from the new Dwarf Weapon Pack. My favorite is easily the "axe," which is really just a rough hunk of metal bolted and tied to a sharpened femur - exactly the kind of rough-hewn weapon you'd expect from a wild little monster like this! The hammer? Cool. The mace? Cool. The ugly bone-axe? Awesome!

Boaris the Boarrior is a neat little figure, and was definitely one of the first ones I knew I needed to get. He's a tiny armored pig-man, and that's fun and inventive! Elves, orcs, dwarves, goblins... all those can be found in any fantasy setting, but where else are you going to find a wild swine wearing a little suit of armor and ready to fight his enemies? So cute!

-- 07/20/19


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