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Zombie 002

Zombie Lab
by yo go re

Not even roadies are safe from the scourge of zombism!

Onson Sweemy thought he'd seen it all, man. He's been on tour with some of the biggest names in music: Stillwater; Threeskin; Jet Black Pope; Muscle Confusion; Flames for Flames; Johnny Lickspittle and the Obsequious Sycophants; Where's Alex?; Odd Pieces of Stone; Radwagon; DJ Deuce Groan; Skilled Homicide Harmony; Gravel Fork; Birmingham Sound Expedition; Half of; Jean Jackets for the Bra-Burners; and Mrs. Potato Dick!

But while working the Asian leg of Stockyard Polarity's third farewell tour, the band and their crew found themselves stranded in Hong Kong when the city enacted its mandatory quarantine. Soon their hotel was over-run, and the last conscious decision Onson ever made was to push rhythm guitarist Agustus Talent out of the way of a charging zombie. After all, man, rock and roll can never die!

Zombie 002 has the same "eyeless" brown paint apps for his skin that we've seen repeatedly on the undead in this series. He's got long, stringy hair, and a decaying face with sunken cheeks - in fact, the left cheek is more absent than the right, because he can see more teeth there, even accounting for his Noel Fielding/Freddie Mercury-style overbite.

The body absolutely shows signs of deadly injuries. There's the "cut" thigh mold, with enough of a blood stain running down to the ankle that anyone with a wound like that would have died of hypovolemic shock alone. He's wearing a short-sleeved shirt, or at least a shirt with the sleeves torn short, and above that a brown vest. Since the vest is open in the front, we get an unobstructed view of the bloody gash on the right side of his chest, and the gaping hole on the let that leaves his ribs visible. Though everything is a little hard to recognize because of the gallon of ketchup he seems to have been spilled on his shirt. Eat your hot dogs more carefully, Onson!

Now, technically, if we can see his ribs there, that means he has no pectoral muscle; and if he has no pectoral muscle, he'd barely be able to move that arm. For the toy, though, the articulation is the same as everyone else's: a balljointed head and neck; swivel/hinge shoulders, elbows and wrists; a balljointed torso; balljointed hips; double-hinge knees; and swivel/hinge ankles. On this one, the chest seems to come apart more easily than average, and the long hair fails to play well with the collar on the vest, meaning that the head will pop off super easily if he's not looking down at his feet.

Here's a surprise for you: Zombie 002's accessories are the same as Specimen 425's accessories, Specimen 459's accessories, Zombie Banner's accessories, and Zombie 001's accessories. Who would have guessed! So that means the snackable human arm (the figure has no way to hold), and the severed spine and alternate "entrails" stomach (which don't look right with the white T-shirt), as well as the standard display base. Thing is, the art card (with chapter three of the Zombie Lab story on the back)shows the zombie carrying a crowbar, of all things. Would that be so bad? We're not asking for machine gun zombies or anything, but what's wrong with a member of the undead having a literal death-grip on some kind of melee weapon it could swing around?

Zombie 002 has a neat design, but the toy itself has trouble holding together. Seems like there's some kind of metaphor there, somehow.

-- 12/28/18


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