Jeana

Time for another round of "who the heck is this"? So if Chapter 6 of the Zombie Lab story is all about people being trapped in Tower 101 and how they're dealing with that, then why is Jeana (side note: what the flark kind of name is "Jeana"? Were her parents big fans of denim, but were unable to spell "Jordache"? Does she have a brother named Levi? Were they going for "Jenna," but missed? Is it just a vastly butchered spelling of Gina, like the way there are 40 different ways to misspell Madison or Caitlin? Is it even pronounced "Gina," or are you supposed to say every letter individually, making it more like "Gianna"? Whatever the case, it's a mess; and if your name is Jeana, please do feel free to swing by the message board and tell us why we're wrong) why is she depicted standing in the middle of a sewer? Her coloring is quite unexpected. Her skin is slightly tan, like most of the (human) figures in this line, but her hair is orange - not a color usually associated with anything other than the palest of skintones (because the gene that prevents the hair from being pigmented also affects skin tissue). It's a fairly natural orange, not the sultry red dyes usually produce, so we assume it's meant to be natural. Jeana is dressed casually, wearing sneakers, designer jeans, and a fitted black T-shirt with "GRL PWR" in white on the front. She is dedicated to unconventional spellings, isn't she? All the clothes have been seen before, but not in this particular combo, so she still manages to look unique even before you take the paint into account. The molds for Zombie Lab were licensed from/created by Boss Fight Studio, based on their Vitruvian HACKS highly articulated character kit system, which means Jeana moves excellently for a 4" figure. She has a balljointed head, balljointed torso, swivel/hinge shoulders, swivel/hinge elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, balljointed hips, double-hinged knees, and swivel/hinge ankles. The design of the figures is modular, if you want to disassemble her and create something different. Like we mentioned (or at least hinted) up above, Jeana's art card shows her not within the confines of a high-rise building, but in a large brick tunnel. It's possible it's meant to be a roadway and not a sewer, but the ground is awfully wet for it to be that. The card also shows her with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, rather than hanging down. She's depicted holding a hatchet, which is one of the accessories the toy has (for a change), and she also comes with a cleaver and a sledgehammer. Where did she get all this stuff? What theme are the accessories trying to put forth? What location features access to tactical hatchets and meat cleavers and sledgehammers? A hardware store with a kitchen section? Honestly, all those "complaints" don't really matter: if you're building a scene that has human survivors fighting zombie hordes, you don't have to say she got her weapons from a certain location, you don't have to say she's in a sewer and not a building like the story says, and you don't even have to call her Jeana. Call her Karen or Joyce or Quiyue or David if you feel like it, none of them make the toy any worse in the slightest. -- 08/09/19

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