Monkeywrench

One in ten. Monkeywrench was born in Rhyl, North Wales, where he built explosive devices indiscriminately for groups of local thugs and anarchists. He drifted to London's East End where he developed rudeness and crude anti-social behavior to levels unheard of in the western hemisphere. Eventually, his wanderings brought him to Australia where he joined up with the Dreadnoks. Oh, so we're back to his name being one word, are we? He was "Monkeywrench" when originally released in 1986, but 20 years later that was being parsed "Monkey Wrench," with a space in the middle. Hardly the first change he'd undergone! The vintage filecard is a rare example of Larry Hama being censored (though whether that was by Hasbro or by himself, we couldn't say): while the printed version listed Bill Winkie's birthplace as Rhyl, Larry had him hailing from Belfast, Northern Ireland, and building bombs for both sides of The Troubles. Imagine what he'd have done to innocents! It's a good thing that original idea disappeared with time; it never made much sense to have a children's toy claim to be involved in a real conflict that was ongoing and wouldn't see an official end until a dozen years after the toy's release. Monkeywrench was one of the last "biker"-style Dreadnoks, before the gang started leaning into the Mad Max aesthetic. He wore a red vest, a bandolier of grenades across his chest, black gloves, and beat-up blue jeans with patches sewn onto them. This one keeps the idea alive, but updates things. The vest is far more detailed, with sculpted texture and stitches and pockets, and a black section on the back that was definitely never a thing before. There are no patches on his jeans, just untended rips and threadbare spots. If that's not enough, he seems to have had one or more indecent accidents, judging by the small, sculpted rips on both the front and back of his vest. There are bands of cloth tied just below his knees, his gloves have studded wrists and extra protection over the knuckles, and the wishbone/horseshoe-shaped necklace he wears is now a separate piece, rather than simply being sculpted onto the chest. He's lost a black chain that used to run around his left shoulder, but has gained several silver ones hanging from his belt. Also, instead of being smooth, his belt buckle now features a skull and crossbones motif, with the bones replaced by (naturally enough) wrenches. That's matched by one of his new tattoos: the left arm has a large, fanged skull with an exposed brain over crossed socket wrenches (the ones on his belt were crescent wrenches), while the right arm just gets a dagger and chain. The paint on his belt isn't the cleanest work we've ever seen, but they did a decent enough job with the rips in his pants. He has dark circles around his eyes, and the new scars on his left cheek get a dark wash as well. They even got the lines between his teeth, since he's snarling to show off his temper. Generation 3 Monkey Wrench didn't have his sunglasses sculpted on, because he was made from a repainted head. Classified Monkeywrench doesn't have his sunglasses sculpted on, because he follows the lead of Buzzer and Ripper (but not Torch) by having them be a separate, removable piece. Instead of just having him move to London at age 16 for the new wave movement, the preliminary filecard said he was in the city as an adolescent resident to become a skinhead (at a time when that would have meant more "proto-punk" and not "white supremacist"). So it's kind of fitting this figure's hair is removable, which allows you to get a good look at the clever channels where the temples of his glasses slot in so the hair can hang over them. Glasses aren't the only facial covering he gets. One of the new features of this design is the pale bandana he's wearing around his neck. Well, that's a separate piece, and if you pop the head off the neck, you can trade the loose bandana for one that's pulled up to cover his nose and mouth. Or he could wear both at once if you wanted him to for some reason, but it's an awkward fit and the colors don't perfectly match, so best to just pick one at a time. And make sure you don't lose his necklace when you're taking the head off. He can still wear the glasses when he's got the rest of his face covered, if you want him to be fully incognito. Now and then I'll try to bend a figure, only to find the joints are way stiffer than I expected them to be. Monkeywrench's knees, for instance, took quite a bit of extra force to move - weirdly, it was the top half of the left knee, and the bottom half of the right knee. Thankfully, they're constructed sturdily enough that even under pressure they didn't wind up snapping in the end. He's got the usual articulation: barbell head, balljointed neck, swivel/hinge shoulders on pectoral hinges, swivel biceps, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, hinged chest, balljointed waist, hips that are a balljoint mounted on a hinge, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, swivel boots, and swivel/hinge ankles. Between the longish hair and the knot at the back of the bandana, you can't tip his head back. Even having him look straight ahead is rough sometimes. Taking a cue from the majesty that was Road Pig, Monkeywrench gets an alternate look with a weird mask. No, his isn't a military helmet with a hog face stapled onto it, it's more of a Bane-style gasmask with built-in goggles, painted red and blue to suggest they're made from 3D glasses, I guess? This is a full secondary piece, with the hair attached so you don't have to worry about whether the mask might fall in or fall out. It has to come down pretty low to cover his beard, but as weird a design as it is, it doesn't look totally out of place on him and so adds something new to the character. I never wanted any more that I could fit onto his head, but creative work has won me over in this case. The only accessory vintage Monkeywrench included was a harpoon gun, which never made any kind of sense for a guy who liked explosions. Still, because he had it back then, he still has to have it today, but at least this time they upped the cool factor by making the trident removable, so you know he's firing it at people and not just trying to stab them with it. The shaft is only meant to fit into the gun one way, so make sure you don't try to force it in sideways or upside down, or you may damage something. There appears to be a shotgun underneath the trident as a backup for times he's already launched it, and the finger guard seems to be spiked brass knuckles. Neat! Today's Monkeywrench also gets a large revolver, like the original had sculpted onto his leg, and it fits into an ornately designed holster which, judging by the paint apps, is strapped to his leg by a repurposed seatbelt? Cool choice! And finally, there are a pair of axes, customized with handles made from pipe wrenches. Giving Dreadnoks kitbashed weapons is a brilliant idea that ups their "outlaw biker" vibe. Even before they attack, the rough, unfinished appearance will scaare off anyone who'd rather leave than suffer this. The back of the bandolier has two loops where the axes can store, with one handle poking up over his shoulder, and the other hanging down by his side. One last thing before I quit: Monkeywrench's stats are Mercenary 2, Bladed Weapons 3, Explosives 2, and Sabotage 1. That fits his included accessories better than it does his reported personality and past, so it's up to you which you think is better. At least those are all existing icons, so I'm not left wasting another night on planning my revenge against Chris Cocks for refusing to pay anyone to maintain and update the GI Joe website. I mean, we still remember every single word it said when it existed, and archived it to the best of our ability, but still. Hasbro is run by a cheapass who wants to make sure content is always caged and never free. Still, there's one thing that comforts me. Hasbro has had all this time to make amends for how boring the first three Classified Dreadnoks were, and the good news is Monkeywrench follows the path Road Pig laid out: same basic design as the '80s, but with entirely new elements that are crafted to fit the character's theme. Monkeywrench always felt like a bit of a hanger-on with the other three Dreadnoks, but this is a great toy of him and helps bump him up closer to their iconic status. -- 04/24/26 What do you do when all your enemies are friends? 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