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Vitruvian H.A.C.K.S.
by yo go re

Three down, 297 to go.

Leonidas, the Greek warrior king of Sparta, was not just royalty, but also a great warrior and hero. Third in line to the Spartan throne, Leonidas would assume the crown after the death and mental breakdown of his two older brothers. Leonidas is one of the only members of the Spartan royalty to attend the Agoge, the harsh school that trained the Spartans in war tactics, poetry, music, academics, and politics. Turning out to be one of the greatest warriors in history, Leonidas waged many victorious campaigns, all in the name of Sparta, and seems to have perished in the great battle of Thermopylae.

Yeah, Leonidas! You know who Leonidas is: people have been screaming and meming his catchphrase for nearly a decade now. The Temporal Log goes on to say this:

The warrior kings of Heracleidae claim to be descended from Hercules himself. This may or may not be true, but it might explain why Leonidas was capable of waging so many successful campaigns. It also may bring into question his demise in Thermopylae. With his body never recovered by the Persians... is it possible that he moved onto a new life... or time?

That's a set-up for the Vitruvian HACKS storyline, in which Leonidas is rescued from the moment of his death to join the time- and space-faring crew of the Vitruvian. That one will be dressed in sports gear and future-tech armor, but this is the classic. In fact, it's identical to the Spartan Warrior figure in everything but color. The anatomical breastplate and the skirt are a single molded piece, rather than two - while there are sculpted elements on the shoulders and sides that look like they're fastening the armor in place, there are actually two pegs that wrap around his sides and poke out the back. The ties are red, rather than being the same gold as the armor, and his skirt is black. He has the removable helmet, but to really set him apart from the troops, the crest on top is black and white striped.

The head itself is different from the plain soldier, though we have already seen it on the Talos figure. Like his fellow countryman, he has a short haircut and a beard, though his is fuller and bushier than the others'. Apparently being king of Sparta is just like being the king of Brooklyn: biggest, pointiest beard gets the crown.

Leonidas has a balljointed head and neck; swivel/hinge shoulders, elbows and wrists; a balljointed torso (limited realistically by the chest armor); balljointed hips; double-hinge knees; and swivel/hinge ankles. The set's accessories include an extra pair of hands with the hinge joint running the other direction, and a display base to help the figure stand in extreme poses. Like all the V-HACKS, the body can be pulled apart into its component parts, in case you want Leo to suffer grievous injuries.

His accessories include a shield, a spear, and four swords! Four! And all of them different; different lengths, different styles... one of them's even curved like the sword used in 300. He has a single scabbard that can strap across his chest, and his shield is painted with a big Λ - it was the symbol of Sparta, in honor of Lacedaemon, their mythical founder ("Sparta" was his wife's name).

Leonidas is close enough to the Spartan Warrior figure that he's clearly still part of the same army, but different enough that you can tell he's special. Plus, he has enough weapons that should you lose one, he's still ready to defend you against Xerxes.

-- 10/21/16

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